30-year-old bridesmaid prioritizes cat over BFF, drops out of wedding last-minute to take care of her sick pet: "I would never expect anyone in my life to abandon their animal"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jul 22, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

For much of human history, domesticated animals were viewed a bit differently than they are nowadays. Yes, people had a certain affection for dogs and cats because they lived in such proximity to humans, are themselves quite affectionate, and were useful, but pet owners of the past were not quite as attached to them as they are now. These days, pet owners have strong bonds with their animal companions, some bordering on parental. There isn't anything wrong with that – well, until a pet owner starts putting their animals above humans.

In our story today, a bridesmaid ditches her best friend's wedding last minute to take care of her sick cat. Her bestie is initially okay with the decision. However, when she realizes that our protagonist could've just let her fiance handle the cat, she starts to question whether or not she really values the friendship. Our protagonist feels no remorse, believing that she made the right choice. The internet disagrees. 

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  • 01

    AITA for dropping out of my friends wedding the day before?

    Cheezburger Image 10532067840
    via Sam Lion from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My best friend (29F) recently got married. I (30F) have been her bridesmaid for about a year now,
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  • 03
    partaking in bridesmaids duties. Her and I have been close friends for several years. During our friendship, I
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  • 04
    moved to the other side of the country and am now a 6 hour flight away with a three hour time difference.
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  • 05
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    via Helgy

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    Her wedding took place on a Saturday. On Thursday, my cat, started acting strange but I didn't
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  • 07
    think much of it. On Friday, I decided I had to take my cat to the vet. The vet said she had a kidney infection and
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  • 08
    that it was serious and that my cat would need to be hospitalized. I was terrified that she would di .
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  • 09
    After going back and forth with myself (and my fiance) for hours, I made the truly difficult decision to
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  • 10
    call my friend on Friday and tell her I can't make it to the wedding. When I told my friend, she said I should take care of my cat. I asked her if she was
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  • 11
    mad and she said "I don't know how to feel." I love my friend, but I needed to stay here to be with her. It's heart.
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  • 12
    wrenching to think about my cat needing me and me being too far away to come. I'm all she has.
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  • 13
    Of course I felt incredibly guilty missing the wedding and I still feel awful about the decision. I didn't make the decision lightly.
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  • 14
    On the morning of the wedding, I sent her a text saying I hope the wedding goes well and that I'm happy she's
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  • 15
    marrying her partner. She said "ok thanks". I haven't reached out since because I wanted to give her space and have her come to me.
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  • 16
    Two weeks have gone by, and she texted me this morning (a little heated). She asked me how my cat was and I said she's ok. She was
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  • 17
    hospitalized for a few days and is now at home. She told me that she disagreed with my decision. I told her that I'm so sorry and feel awful about
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  • 18
    missing the wedding. I told her I love her and continuously apologized. She asked me if I regret my decision and I said no.
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    via SeventyFour

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  • 20
    She asked me why my fiance couldn't handle it and I told her that it's ultimately my cat and I want to be nearby if anything were to take a turn for the worse.
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  • Abandoning her friend on her wedding and then ghosting her for two weeks because she is too much of a coward to have a conversation is crazy work. 

  • 21
    One of the other bridesmaids texted me the morning of the wedding (8am) asking me if I could take a later flight and miss the wedding but come
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  • 22
    to the reception (which started at 6pm). I said it was too late. Again, I'm 6 hours away with a 3 hour time change. I don't know if there was a direct flight that would've gotten me in on time.
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  • 23
    My friend told me that people "volunteered" to her they would not have made the same decision as me and that what I did was "f ed up". I didn't know my cat would be OK until
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  • 24
    Cheezburger Image 10532068608
    via Syda Productions

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 25
    Saturday at 11am. At that point, it was too late. Again, I could not leave my cat if she needed me. I would never expect anyone in my life to abandon their animal.
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  • 26
    So, I was surprised when she said she wouldn't have made the same decision as me. That she would have left her dog to be at my wedding if the roles were reversed. So Reddit - am I the ah_le?
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  • I think the detail that her fiance could have just stayed with the cat is really what makes our protagonist's actions seem like a betrayal and like she was just abandoning ship. 

  • 27
    disasterbee I mean yeah YTA here, but sometimes making the right choice for yourself means being the AH to other people.
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  • 28
    see from your friends perspective and realize how hurt she must feel. I would have had my fiance stay with my cat and gone to the wedding.
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  • 29
    jenjluginbuhl I love my cat so, I get it. That being said, I think you may have ruined your friendship and I understand why. I can
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  • 30
    Rredhead926 Look, I'm a cat person. Always have been. I have 4 cats right now. But if I had to choose between being in a friend's wedding or staying with my cat when said cat had another human to care for it, I would choose the friend. So yeah, I think YTA.
    via u/Rredhead926

Tags

friendship relationship advice bride marriage groom wedding party pets wedding drama bridesmaids friends relationships wedding couples adulthood breakup Cats
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